A couple of weeks before I turned 8, I had to make a tough decision. I was shopping for a new dress with my mum and I picked one that was way over budget. But, to almost 8-year old me, it was the most beautiful dress I had EVER seen. Just perfect for the Children’s Day church service I was singing at in a few days time.
Mum said I could have it BUT IT WOULD MEAN NO BIRTHDAY PRESENT because I’d BLOWN THE BUDGET.
I still remember sitting on a chair in the shop, grappling with the decision, while mum finished off some other chores in town.
I was worried that, by choosing the dress, I’d risk having a miserable birthday because there wouldn’t be a present from mum.
This dilemma between wanting to choose one course of action but risking losing something important by doing so is familiar to all leaders, and not just in relation to childhood dilemmas.
It’s not necessarily about material desire and loss either.
The Reality Of Tough Leadership Choices
· It’s wanting to resolve a team member’s underperformance but not wanting to risk upsetting them by having a potentially difficult conversation
· It’s wanting to understand the rationale for a boss’s decision but not wanting to risk annoying them by asking questions
· It’s wanting to get buy-in from a peer to your needs but not wanting to give anything to meet theirs in return
· It’s wanting to know why someone was annoyed with you but not wanting to check in with them to find out in case you don’t like the response
· It’s wanting to influence a key stakeholder to take on board your ideas but not wanting to risk their objections to it
· It’s wanting to ask for advice and help but not wanting to admit that you’re a bit lost
· It’s wanting to find a new, better role but not wanting to risk getting out there and looking for new opportunities
It Isn’t Easy – But It’s Necessary
These are all themes I’ve explored with leaders in coaching sessions this week and, experienced as they are, they agonise just as much as the 7-year old me did over getting the dream dress but not wanting to face a disappointing 8th birthday. Too often, however, leaders don’t make the tough choice and hope that, somehow, things will just work out.
It’s only natural that we want all the up without risking the down but sometimes it really is a case that we have to take the risk to have any chance of the gain. We also have to live with the consequences, whatever we decide.
Making tough choices is never fun, but it’s necessary.
What Tough Choices Are You Avoiding?
The almost 8-year old me chose the dress because I loved it so much and decided I could live with the disappointment if no gifts materialised on the big day. I don’t actually remember if they did – or even if mum reneged – but I do remember the tough choice and just how much I loved that dress.
What tough decisions are you avoiding today because you can’t quite accept that you have to face the risk in order to have the chance of the opportunity?
Is now the time to take action?