If ever the weather conspired against a leader’s message, it was surely the rain pouring down on Prime Minister Rishi Sunak on the steps of Downing Street this week. Soaking wet shoulders don’t chime well with hope, success and direction – especially when that message is being delivered to a sceptical, worried, angry electorate.
The optics, as the PR gurus say, weren’t great.
Business leaders have to share messages of hope, success and direction to sceptical, worried and, sometimes, angry, people too. And they have to balance these with something that seems less of a requirement for political leaders – the truth. This difficult balance doesn’t just apply with big corporate messages; it’s also present in our everyday interactions. Whether it’s giving feedback about unsatisfactory performance, telling someone they haven’t got that much-coveted promotion, or advising a hard-pressed manager that a recruitment freeze has just come into effect…they all matter.
So, given that tough messages are an inevitable part of the leader’s role, how can you get this difficult balance right?
When you build your message, start with being truthful
Not surprising, but something that leaders struggle with time after time and so end up soft-soaping and rose-tinting what they have to say. Some leaders (whisper it) even pretend that the difficult decision hasn’t been taken and try to put it across that they’re asking teams for their input, all the while knowing that nothing will change the ultimate outcome.
Another popular ploy is to ask a question in the hope that the other person will say the difficult thing for you – ever started a feedback conversation with ‘How do you think you handled the meeting/conversation/presentation?’ – knowing that you weren’t happy with what the other person did and that you need them to recognise this?
Avoid such tactics. Start with the truth. Be clear about what you have to say and say it.
Be clear and direct – and that doesn’t mean be cold or aggressive
When I’m coaching leaders on sharing a message, they often recoil from being clear and direct about what they have to say (admittedly, this may be more prevalent in a British culture than in some others). Instead, there’s a preference to talk around the subject in the belief that people will get the message. In trying to be clear and direct, they often adopt a tone that is cold, even verging on aggressive. And cold or aggressive are rarely the right tone for any leader to adopt.
Being clear and direct simply means saying what you want to say in as few words as possible so that it is as easy as possible for others to understand. You can be clear and direct, while still being warm, human and caring. The secret here is, when it comes to actually sharing your message, focus on the individual rather than on your message. Remember that the other person is an adult with responsibilities, fears and dreams. They deserve to be treated with respect and consideration.
Rather than giving hope, give purpose, control and choice
When you’ve shared a difficult message, it’s tempting to add on some well-meaning, but ultimately empty, statements designed to raise the person’s spirit again. We want to ‘give hope’ and I firmly support the idea that we need to leave people feeling positive about the way forward rather than leaving them in a negative place. Research backs this up too: hope is essential for emotional and physical health.
But hope doesn’t come from empty statements. It comes from a sense of purpose, from having a direction. It comes from having a sense of control and agency in our own lives. It comes from a sense that we have options.
So, to help people feel hopeful, help them to work out options and what actions they can take to move forward – these will give a sense of direction, and a sense of direction brings a sense of purpose. Avoid platitudes.
Whether you’re engaged in tough ‘business as usual’ conversations this week, or you have to share some bigger stuff, keep these three points in mind and you’ll find it easier to communicate truth and hope in a well-balanced, meaningful way.